The tandem is gone. I finally sold it, at a garage sale, for a tenth of what it originally cost.
The telescope, too. Sold on Letgo, for a third of a tenth of what it originally cost. It sat in the garage for more than 15 years; he stopped using it when something went awry with the star-finder thing; he wasn’t much for spending time trying to figure out how to fix things, even if it was just how to recharge or replace a battery. He lost his astronomical mo.
Or maybe it was just that I had chosen the wrong kind of scope, or didn’t get the right filters or something, and he didn’t want to hurt my feelings so he used it for a little while and then retired it to the garage, where it stayed gathering dust for years. I was glad to see it go.
The tandem is another story. That was hard. It went to someone down the street and around the corner, but I’m guessing it isn’t going to stay there – probably will get resold for more than I got for it. So though I told the buyer I was happy it would stay in the neighborhood, I cried when it was rolled away.
Mike transported our daughter all over the place on that thing, from the time she was in elementary school through half of high school, when she had gotten big enough to make her difficulty with pedaling with any force, a problem.
The diagnosis came a year or so after that.
So off to a corner by the wall in the garage it went, to gather dust itself, forlorn.
People in town who never met or spoke to Mike, knew him by that bike. They saw him riding her to school, then home by himself (a total distance of 5 miles), then back to school to pick her up and home again.
They saw them riding together on the bike paths, through the forest preserves and to the pool in the summer.
The bike, and how Mike used it to get her from place to place, become a sort of living “meme” of fatherly devotion around here. Mike simultaneously got our daughter some fresh air and exercise (her legs had to go up an down, even if she couldn’t pedal very hard) while also giving her a view beyond the boundaries of our home and her school. Kids with developmental differences are often isolated, kept in their “special” classrooms for more than half the day, then transported to some kind of program filled with more kids with differences, to spend time until a parent could pick them up.
Mike didn’t let that happen to her.
Even though he chose to spend a lot of time alone, imposing a lot of isolation on himself, and by extension on our daughter, they were a very happy team, and under his protection, on the back of that bike, she got a broader view of the world and its possibilities.
Mike also got time away from the routine – the frequent drudgery – of being the stay-at-home parent.
But he made sure we knew that he loved his job.
And the bike was very much a symbol of that. Not just to me.
So if you happen to come across a big blue tandem on E-bay or some other online marketplace, please show it some respect. It might have been ridden by a World’s Greatest Dad.
I never got him that t-shirt. He wouldn’t have worn it, anyway, and he didn’t need a t-shirt for everyone to see what a great Dad he was. All he had to do was get on that bike.
There are two women, myself and our daughter, who have shed more tears today over that bike, and the Dad who rode it with such strength, love and devotion.
May happy memories, and maybe a good bike ride, comfort those who are missing their Dads today, and strengthen bereaved Moms who have to tell their kids that it is OK to cry.
And listen, helpless, when they do.
Trying to decide whether today’s cold drizzly mist is a blessing or an excuse, I remain,
Your thinking of buying a “World’s Greatest Dad” balloon to tie to the shepherd’s crook at Mike’s gravesite,
8 thoughts on “Tandem and Telescope: A Father’s Day Lament”
I made it through the day, subdued, but happy enough to mark it by eating my husband’s favorite ice cream last night with my daughter, husband, and their friends, both of whom lost their fathers last year as well. We all ate lox and bagels for breakfast, a universally favorite dad breakfast, and juice glass-toasted fathers, fathers-to-be- and those that are only here in spirit. The five year old boy the friends have, filled the space with noise and laughter and high energy as only five year old boys can do. It was a lovely appetizer of grandmothering to read to him his pre-bedtime story which he said he wanted to read, “snuggled in the crook of my arm.” So we did that. Lucky me.
I’m a new follower, so I don’t yet know your whole story. However, I’m sending hugs to you and your daughter this Father’s Day. It sounds as if you were both truly lucky to have had this man in your lives.
Thanks. He was one of a kind.
Hope you have a chance to poke around and read some more and that it gives you a good read.
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I will. Feeling lazy today.
Love it, warm wishes to you and your family.
I felt weird liking this post because in reality it totally sucks that you “had” to write it. I am so very sorry…………..
I view any “like” as an expression of support, and I appreciate it. Let’s me know you read it and were moved to respond. So thanks for your support.
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sending loving thoughts your way.