I have discovered a sure-fire way to add new followers.
Write about weight loss. Just stuff those weight loss keywords in there up down and sideways until Google decides your site is nothing but spam. Use “weight loss” as a category, and throw it in there as a tag, too!
This is sure to result in you getting a handful, maybe more, of new followers, as I did after my post called “Endless Tunnel to Nowhere,” which happened to have a paragraph about my current effort to stay alive long enough to ensure Angelic Daughter will be cared for when I find myself “knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door.” (I’m not a big Dylan fan, but that song stuck with me).
However, I’m absolutely convinced that the only reason most, if not all, of those new followers (with handles that include words like keto, or fit, or belly fat, etc.) clicked “follow” for my blog is their desire to get me to follow them back, presumably as a way to promote their own blog about an exercise program, a dietary supplement, a nutrition plan, or some lose-weight quick secret they believe they’ve discovered.
So, let’s test that theory. Here’s a little quiz for my new weight loss followers. If you’re actually reading my blog, you should be able to answer these few questions easily. Just drop your answers in the comments and show me you’re in it for the writing, and not just for the follow. Here goes:
- How do I refer to my offspring? (if you don’t get this one I’ll KNOW you’re not reading this)
- Why did I start this blog?
- Name two other pages on this blog besides the main page where the latest posts appear.
- What series of novels is my favorite?
- Name two topics under which I have collected some of my best blogs.
There. That’s it. Surprise me!
Listening to crickets through my open windows, and expecting metaphorical crickets in response to this little quiz, I remain,
Your skeptical, but-trying-not-to-be-cynical, old-fashioned-blogger-who-still-believes-it’s-supposed-to-be-about-the-writing-and-hoping-you’re-not-already-rolling-your-eyes,