Oh, ok, NOW I remember – I should have asked, “are there any internal candidates for this position?”
Because if there are, my presence in this interview must be solely to provide the illusion of a “search,” when the outcome is a foregone conclusion. So check off that age/gender discrimination box, kids! You’re covered!
“Hey, we interviewed the old lady, but decided our (select all that apply) younger, maler, cheaper, insider-er candidate was a better, erm,….fit.”
Oh yeah? Well, nuts to you! I didn’t want to work at your boring old cube farm anyway, so there!
Here endeth the tantrum.
Back to the job boards, and “kondo-ing” the hell out of the house to find anything I can sell online that might squeeze out a buck or two.
Next on the list: call financial advisor. Confess you should have allowed her to re-balance portfolio before the most recent downturn. Nobody can time the market, right? But I should have seen this train coming.
Then, get back on that querying horse, now that I have a better idea of how to write a query letter and have figured out “comps” that might be applicable:
“DETOUR IN CANCERLAND is like Jenny Lawson (Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, A Funny Book About Horrible Things) and Jen Lancaster (Bitter Is The New Black) if they were twenty years older, bereaved, and had been raised by Olive Kitteridge.”
Good old Olive. “No one’s cute who can’t stand up straight.” Sounds just like Mom.
I’m also going to get started on my next book, “The Widow Rules: In Which a Ridiculous Woman Desperately Fails to Meet Expectations.”
First line: “Well, the tits on a platter thing didn’t work out so well.”
Working on it.
In the meantime, I remain,
Your preparing-to-deliver-the-stuff-I-sold-online-in-a busy parking-lot-right-across-from- the-pizza-shop-where-we-are-regulars-which-is-owned-by-a-big-strong-neighbor-guy-and-staffed-by-several-other-guys-who-recognize-me-and-could-keep-an-eye-out,